i don’t feel like there is much to report these days, but maybe if i start writing, sentences will flow. in some ways there is a sea that could flood this page if i knew what words to use. which configurations. i wrote to coreen to tell her i have been falling in love and this is what she wrote back: “You are falling in love! That IS so delicious. I hope you can make it last a long time, that delicious falling with soft landings, over and over.”
that is what has been happening: soft landings, over and over (she put it so well). in the midst of it, all i can think is how much i love this man. my words tumble and fumble as i attempt to write it out in my journal and i come out sounding like a teenage girl, with all the age-appropriate vocabulary. i have no poetry for the delight and wonder and gratitude and calm and harmony i feel when i am with him. when he is near. when i think of him as i wander through the day with a smile on my face that he put there.
ok, i hope i am not drowning anyone in my sap. i’ll stop now.
i am again on long-term work, so i have spent the last couple of weeks wandering purposefully around nanaimo delivering mail. though i’d rather be at home on the wee island revelling in this blossoming love, i am happy to be walking around in the sunshine (or sometimes not sunshine) making money again.
i have been listening to this book – natural born heroes – on and off for the last several months. it is about a variety of interconnected topics, one of which is the effect of a fat/protein/vegetable diet on ones physical capabilities. as i’ve perhaps mentioned a couple of times before, i love feats of physical prowess. i love to be able to break into a sprint in an instant and GO, or climb a slippery firemans pole, or swing from a tree branch, or jump from a steep high bank, or climb up into the heights of an old doug fir swaying in the wind. so any healthy idea that i find intriguing and which can possibly enable these desires, i will definitely take under consideration. in this book, chris mcdougall (who also wrote ‘born to run’) talks about the diets of the ancient cretans, and how they were able to go great distances on very little food or rest. there is SO much that he goes into in this book, but one of the main reasons they are able to do this is that they harness their body fat as fuel, rather than fast burning carbs. the more he talked about this, citing other examples in history, the more intrigued i became. serendipitously, john is already inclined to eat this way, so its become a fun thing that we are aiming towards together. i already don’t eat gluten or any sort of sugars (other than stevia), and i haven’t been eating cow dairy for a long time either. it mainly means cutting out the rest of the carbs and eating more oils/fats. when i work the early shift i tend to make a cooked oat/nut blend. it was formerly heavier with oats/quinoa flakes and lighter on the rest of the stuff. now i am making it so that the carbs take up less than 1/4 cup and i have another 1/2 cup of almonds/cashews/chia/coconut/pumpkin seeds, along with some cinnamon, nutmeg, stevia and a heaping dollop of coconut oil. when i am out on route i’ll bring a boiled egg and a handful of nut mix (no peanuts), which will get me through the four-ish hours of walking. for dinners the past couple of weeks i have eaten avocados, fried eggs, kimchi or other ferments, steamed greens with grated raw garlic and ample amounts of flax or avocado oil, goat cheese, yams, and salmon soup. as it’s only been a couple of weeks, i am not sure yet if i see a significant difference, but possibly the last couple of days i haven’t been as hungry as usual at the end of the day, and i haven’t really been getting sweet cravings. though i haven’t eaten sweeteners for years, i did get sugar hits from things like dried fruit and lara bars and fruit in general. i have either cut most of that out the last couple of weeks as well, or when i do have fruit, i add copious oils/fats to it, such as almond butter on apples or bananas. so though i haven’t cut the grains out completely, i am excited at the direction that this is heading.
the weekends at home have been sweet and productive. last weekend violet and i canned salmon, some of which we smoked first, with john and runes help at the smoker. the weekend before that was the fall fair, another fabulous annual event where all the weird and wonderfullness of community comes out and shimmers. the fall fair is also my one year anniversary of moving home! j o y. little things are getting done slowly… we fixed the transom and cleaned up johns little skiff in prep for heading out to go driftwood hunting, we talk plans while stringing the tape measure out near the cistern and the shop site, domesticity takes over in this season of canning and preserving… i find myself having to let go of the larger plans in the midst of all the little things that need to get done. this weekend i’d like to get the bus windows plastic’ed and the canoe folded up and put away for the winter, but we shall see how far i get.
whenever i can squeeze in, i have been reading ‘ravensong’ by lee maracle. here are some of the ways in which she marvellously strings her words together… “little kids leave whole paragraphs out of their conversation, which the adult imagination has to fill in.” … “words are sacred, once spoken they cannot be retrieved. sometimes they fall out of the mouth in moments of thoughtlessness when the speaker focuses on images which don’t include the one spoken to, and burn holes in the lives of the listener.” … “he gave the impression his contentment in their company was complete. there was no place on earth he would rather sit patiently waiting for the women to stir the air with laughter, rage, or tears, whatever they chose, while he enjoyed their presence.” … “the evening was falling about them everywhere, semi-light and shadow dark, the night blossomed.”
8th photo by either violet, valeria or gabe (they all had my camera for stints that day) and 18th photo by gabe.